“All my friends are married with terrible spouses, wailing children and are miserable” my friend Akansha was saying.”I want to be miserable too!” Coming as it did from Akansha, the epitome of a no-nonsense, confident super achiever – a power-woman, if there ever was one, I was taken aback.
“What are you talking about? Do you even have the time to feel miserable? I thought, you were ever so occupied with your work, you wouldn’t even be keeping in touch with your friends except your close circle of professional acquaintances” I chided.
“You are right, it was alright as long as I was alone in the island to which life had washed me up to. Things went for a toss, when Facebook helped re-establish the connections that were long lost. Today, I have become a compulsive voyeur, peeking into the intimate moments of the lives of my friends. Comparisons are drawn in the subconscious and I begin to wallow in self pity.”
“There are pictures of Nandita, dressed in outlandish hats in exotic locations posing in the most garish manner. There are pictures of Sonam wearing fake smiles and faux labels in an endless series of night outs infested with equally brain dead characters. There are pictures of Neeta’ son, posted in 5 minute intervals, with inane captions like “my Bubba’s first facial at L’oreal” (it’s a different thing that “Bubba” is actually 32). And offcourse, Payal’s pictures of her journey through a life culinary – from home baked idly’s to Nizam’s Biryani.”
I was perturbed and decided to speak to the experts. What they told me was equally horrifying. What Akansha was suffering from was a common case of Facebook Depression. “While the social media has opened the world of opportunities to the lonely, who are increasingly using it to reach out and re-establish contacts with long lost friends, to some, it is working out to be the perfect nightmare. These people, used to leading regimented lives to fend off their loneliness, were in most cases unaware of the yearnings that were there in the sub-conscious. As they come face to face with members of their peer group indulging in activities that they would rather have, their pent up frustrations are coming to the fore, often with disastrous consequences.”
That is why, what appears to be sheer disgust at the serial postings from holiday destinations is actually your own desire to let loose and take a break. Or the friend posting pics of herself looking as fake as if she was “made in China” is actually because somewhere deep within you too want to dress up and make a statement in the city’s hot spots! “Lonely people, sucked into Social Media are increasingly ending up depressed. It is a vicious circle” said a leading city based psychologist. “Imaging paying a “king’s ransom” to buy the latest handheld, only to look at all those happy faces and get depressed”.
What is the way out for the likes of Akansha? “Social media is all too pervasive to ignore it or to cut it out of life. What we can do however, is chose the way we use it. Use it in small doses, make sure you get a detox if you are already addicted and replace it with real people and real experiences. Take a hobby. Go out, exercise … in short, interact with humans and nature the way God meant it to be.”
Above all, learn to enjoy the happiness of others. Use the Like button as often as possible. Engage your friends in conversations, share their little moments of joy, let them know that you care – remember they are your friends. That is why there are there in your list in the first place! If you don’t engage them, they will not know that you were browsing through, leave alone talk to you, adding to your woes. And who knows, one thing will lead to the other, making your life just that much more meaningful?
Note: all names have been changed to maintain the privacy of individuals.